Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Do you see what I see?

The Lord whispers into my life daily. Sometimes I listen. Sometimes, to my detriment, I don't.

But Today, graciously, the Lord whispers again. His compassion never fails. Great is His faithfulness...

Lam 3:22 Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
Lam 3:23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Lam 3:24 I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."
Lam 3:25 The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;
Lam 3:26 it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.

Joshua cooed in his crib when he awoke. I heard him. Not wanting to be distracted when I sat down to nurse him and spend time with him, I hurried to finish lunch with my older three. His coos turned to whimpers, then calls, then cries. As I turned off the lights in my older boys' room, I went swiftly to pick up Joshua, finally finished with lunch and naptime's beginning. He had begun to holler. As if to say, "You aren't coming. You aren't." "Here I am baby, shhhhh, here I am." "Don't cry sweet boy. I got you..." Still he cried as I changed his diaper and settled in with my nursing pillow. He had waited long. Once we got into each other's arms, I relaxed and looked down at him clinging and nursing. He looked up at me and grimaced, winced, almost to tears again, as if to say, "Where were you, why didn't you come? And yet here you are. I cling to you." And as I spoke it, I heard my Savior say, "Here I am my sweet child. Thank you for waiting for me. No, I didn't mean to make you wait, but I had much to prepare before I could be with you." "Now I am all yours and you are Mine." And we caressed one another, in mutual need and refreshment. Does the Lord disdain my cries when I ask, "Where are You, Lord? Why haven't you come? Are you going to come? Why did you make me wait?" Oh, no, dear little one. He loves you all the more for waiting and clutches you tighter to His breast in love and perfect provision. Trust Him. Turn not aside. Only He truly satisfies. He is El Shaddai, The All Sufficient One and He adores you. How do I know? Well, amazingly, that's what He told me next...

Jhn 1:12 Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God-
Jhn 1:13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.

When nursing was done and smiles returned, sweet Joshua and I went walking through the house together, his little head on my shoulder, his tiny hands clutching my shirt. We found ourselves in front of the mirror. "Look at that beautiful boy. Look at that sweet and precious child of mine. You are mine and you are so wonderful. I love you beautiful boy. Yes I do." "Do you see what I see, Josh? Do you see what I see??" As I spoke these words aloud in love to my smallest son, the Holy Spirit whispered, "Do you see what I see, Carmen? My beautiful and incapable, clinging child. Trusting and abiding in dependence, I am so pleased with you. Yes, you are little, yes you are just at your beginning, but you are Mine. I see your greatest potential and I love you." There, before that mirror, with an adoring smile upon my own face, I heard it, I felt it. Jesus was there. As I kissed the sweet-smelling, soft, side of my son's face, I felt the Lord linger near mine in shared intimacy. Oh, to be loved and adored as a child of the Most High God!

I am in awe, seeing what He sees.

Thank You Lord, for these beautiful and amazing children, through whom You never fail to teach me of Your love for me. May I love them as You have loved, and continue to love, me. May they each know the love of The Most High God as Your own beloved child.

In love and adoration of Jesus Christ alone,

Carmen Sunshine, His Little One