Friday, February 19, 2010

Congratulations Mommy

Your pizza is only as delicious as the amount of flour dusting your children's toes...

Jacob, in a cloud of flour and pizza making, looked up at me with a very satisfied grin and said, "Thank you, Mommy, for letting me make my own pizza! Congratulations, Mommy."

I laughed out loud and agreed. Yes, indeed. Jacob was the third pizza-dough-roller-and-patter in the kitchen last night. For a woman who knew not much of encouragement nor enjoying discovery amid messiness as a child or young woman, to have the depth of flour that was in my kitchen, congratulations were indeed in order. Two inches of flour covered the counter. Flour was heavily accumulated on the cabinet knobs, the step-stool, the floor, even on the ledges of the cabinets faces themselves. To say it was dusty would have beeen an understatement.

But truly, if any congratulations are in order, they are the Lord's alone. Father, I'll savor Your revelation and sweep up the rest.

Mat 21:44
And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

Yesterday, all I could see was the powder of my life, the failure, the unusable, the debris, the mess. I gave it to the Lord, and He sifted through it all and handed me a whole, weighty piece. A worthwhile piece, a piece that was unrecognizable to me until I handed it all to Jesus and He revealed it. In the smile of my son, an area of my childhood was redeemed.

My life before Christ was about cleanliness, order, the appearance of wholeness and even since the renewal of my relationship with Christ, those are the goals that I have pursued. But amid the dust of my son's childish efforts, the Lord revealed to me that there is so much more. That's not what my life has to be about any more. I can have a new focus. What I seek, true completeness, only comes through restoration. None of us start out whole. Becoming who I want to be in Christ does not come without experience, discovery, childlike efforts, imperfection, delight and yes, a large amount of mess.

Lord, help me to no longer focus on the dust of my life but to embrace the mess, to experience the delight in learning from You and seeing what you will make of me, discovering the parts of me that You are preserving and restoring as whole. May I continually give you all of me. I yield myself to Your hands and I ask you reveal the shards of me amid the dust that will complete the whole. I am so glad that I am Yours. Sweep away what is not worth saving and reclaim the rest.

Thank you Lord for encouraging me and showing me even the littlest areas of growth in my life. I had reached the end of me, and You knew I was in sore need of You and Your affirmations. It seems impossible, but there is no more glorious place to be. You always give greater than I can imagine.

Truly Jacob's smile, complete satisfaction, and congratulations were a gift. I am humbled and blessed knowing that wouldn't have been a part of my life without surrendering to You, my Redeemer. Thank You, Lord.

Standing in the dust with a restored piece of my broken heart,
Carmen Sunshine