What have you got? What have you not?
I've got some... or really, I've got a sum.
A sum that can not be measured, needful of the counting...
(#'s 306 - 315)
A warm orange pot
delivered
filled with noodles
peppered
warm healing broth
speckled
bread just baked
severed
filled my tummy on the day it
quaked.
How can I give enough thanks
for what I've been given?
Count my blessings
number them and they multiply.
Mar 4:25
For whoever has, to him more will be given;
but whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him."
Can I even percieve all that has been bestowed upon me?
Friends, gifts, children, a home, a happy husband, the love of Christ, sisters, books, windows, hot running water, electricity, people who care about me, the ability to bless others, a man who loves me, and cares for our children, more food in the fridge than we can eat, more toys than we can play with, fresh air, clean water, warm sunshine, cleansing rain...
When I count them, or rather, give an account, I am less likely to be wanting or feel lacking. Gratitude for what I've got multiplies my perception. Let me embrace it all so that I am not found wanting.
Thank you, Lord, for friends who bless. Thank you Father for your caress. In their hands I see your love. God you give far above.
For His glory and in my heart,
Carmen Sunshine
Friday, March 19, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Congratulations Mommy
Your pizza is only as delicious as the amount of flour dusting your children's toes...
Jacob, in a cloud of flour and pizza making, looked up at me with a very satisfied grin and said, "Thank you, Mommy, for letting me make my own pizza! Congratulations, Mommy."
I laughed out loud and agreed. Yes, indeed. Jacob was the third pizza-dough-roller-and-patter in the kitchen last night. For a woman who knew not much of encouragement nor enjoying discovery amid messiness as a child or young woman, to have the depth of flour that was in my kitchen, congratulations were indeed in order. Two inches of flour covered the counter. Flour was heavily accumulated on the cabinet knobs, the step-stool, the floor, even on the ledges of the cabinets faces themselves. To say it was dusty would have beeen an understatement.
But truly, if any congratulations are in order, they are the Lord's alone. Father, I'll savor Your revelation and sweep up the rest.
Yesterday, all I could see was the powder of my life, the failure, the unusable, the debris, the mess. I gave it to the Lord, and He sifted through it all and handed me a whole, weighty piece. A worthwhile piece, a piece that was unrecognizable to me until I handed it all to Jesus and He revealed it. In the smile of my son, an area of my childhood was redeemed.
My life before Christ was about cleanliness, order, the appearance of wholeness and even since the renewal of my relationship with Christ, those are the goals that I have pursued. But amid the dust of my son's childish efforts, the Lord revealed to me that there is so much more. That's not what my life has to be about any more. I can have a new focus. What I seek, true completeness, only comes through restoration. None of us start out whole. Becoming who I want to be in Christ does not come without experience, discovery, childlike efforts, imperfection, delight and yes, a large amount of mess.
Lord, help me to no longer focus on the dust of my life but to embrace the mess, to experience the delight in learning from You and seeing what you will make of me, discovering the parts of me that You are preserving and restoring as whole. May I continually give you all of me. I yield myself to Your hands and I ask you reveal the shards of me amid the dust that will complete the whole. I am so glad that I am Yours. Sweep away what is not worth saving and reclaim the rest.
Thank you Lord for encouraging me and showing me even the littlest areas of growth in my life. I had reached the end of me, and You knew I was in sore need of You and Your affirmations. It seems impossible, but there is no more glorious place to be. You always give greater than I can imagine.
Truly Jacob's smile, complete satisfaction, and congratulations were a gift. I am humbled and blessed knowing that wouldn't have been a part of my life without surrendering to You, my Redeemer. Thank You, Lord.
Standing in the dust with a restored piece of my broken heart,
Carmen Sunshine
Jacob, in a cloud of flour and pizza making, looked up at me with a very satisfied grin and said, "Thank you, Mommy, for letting me make my own pizza! Congratulations, Mommy."
I laughed out loud and agreed. Yes, indeed. Jacob was the third pizza-dough-roller-and-patter in the kitchen last night. For a woman who knew not much of encouragement nor enjoying discovery amid messiness as a child or young woman, to have the depth of flour that was in my kitchen, congratulations were indeed in order. Two inches of flour covered the counter. Flour was heavily accumulated on the cabinet knobs, the step-stool, the floor, even on the ledges of the cabinets faces themselves. To say it was dusty would have beeen an understatement.
But truly, if any congratulations are in order, they are the Lord's alone. Father, I'll savor Your revelation and sweep up the rest.
| Mat 21:44 | And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder. |
Yesterday, all I could see was the powder of my life, the failure, the unusable, the debris, the mess. I gave it to the Lord, and He sifted through it all and handed me a whole, weighty piece. A worthwhile piece, a piece that was unrecognizable to me until I handed it all to Jesus and He revealed it. In the smile of my son, an area of my childhood was redeemed.
My life before Christ was about cleanliness, order, the appearance of wholeness and even since the renewal of my relationship with Christ, those are the goals that I have pursued. But amid the dust of my son's childish efforts, the Lord revealed to me that there is so much more. That's not what my life has to be about any more. I can have a new focus. What I seek, true completeness, only comes through restoration. None of us start out whole. Becoming who I want to be in Christ does not come without experience, discovery, childlike efforts, imperfection, delight and yes, a large amount of mess.
Lord, help me to no longer focus on the dust of my life but to embrace the mess, to experience the delight in learning from You and seeing what you will make of me, discovering the parts of me that You are preserving and restoring as whole. May I continually give you all of me. I yield myself to Your hands and I ask you reveal the shards of me amid the dust that will complete the whole. I am so glad that I am Yours. Sweep away what is not worth saving and reclaim the rest.
Thank you Lord for encouraging me and showing me even the littlest areas of growth in my life. I had reached the end of me, and You knew I was in sore need of You and Your affirmations. It seems impossible, but there is no more glorious place to be. You always give greater than I can imagine.
Truly Jacob's smile, complete satisfaction, and congratulations were a gift. I am humbled and blessed knowing that wouldn't have been a part of my life without surrendering to You, my Redeemer. Thank You, Lord.
Standing in the dust with a restored piece of my broken heart,
Carmen Sunshine
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Finding the Kernel of Wheat
What man intends for evil, God intends for good. Oh how these scriptures display the battle I have had in my heart and mind these last few days. To be sure, a good threshing involves fault and shame, but when you know the Lord, it also brings refinement, correction and restoration. Thank You, Abba, that all things are from Your hand for our eternal benefit.
Luk 22:31
"Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat.
Luk 22:32
But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."
Pro 3:5
Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.
Pro 3:6
Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.
2Ch 20:15
He said, "Listen...! This is what the LORD says: Do not be afraid! Don't be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God's."
My count of blessings sharpens and continues as I endeavor to find the kernel of wheat...
261. For trials that bring my impurities to surface
262. For repentance, true forgiveness and grace
263. For struggles I can't see past, making me desperately seek the Lord
264. For seeing my own path more clearly
265. For the Lord's way, that He makes my path straight
266. For deliverance from my way, my understanding
267. For authority and choice
268. For freedom and pleasure
269. For the desire to know Jesus more personally
270. A lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path
271. "It's a start"
272. For cold crisp blustery days
273. For babies in buntings and teddy bear hats
274. For woolen blankets crocheted and passed down, warming the next generation
275. For real, passionate, Christ-following, sister-friends
276. Understanding that the World can not understand, hence it will misjudge
277. Yellow rimmed front wheels
278. Golden flames on handed-down helmets
279. Rusty running pegs and chains
280. Little one's perseverance - his first bike ride
281. Nubby first tooth
282. Keeping the bathroom doors closed
283. Warm welcomes in the homes of family's family
284. Bright pink rose centered bows on locks of wind-blown golden girl
285. Brilliance in a boy, true understanding
286. My children's desire to worship the LORD!
287. More clothes, food, warmth, safety, protection and provision than I can count
288. A truly devoted and cheerful husband
289. Leather puppy dog shoes
290. Afternoon sunlight on oyster colored walls
291. Time to spend giving thanks, reflecting, counting
292. Purging
293. Sisters who know
294. The ability to make the choice to love in the strenth and grace of Christ Jesus
295. Time with my husband
296. New Bible Studies
297. Time weathered friendships, rooted and grounded in love
298. Tidiness
299. Smiling voice mails
300. Hope
301. Not my way, not your way, but God's alone - there is the safe and right road
302. His ways are higher than my ways, His thoughts higher than my thoughts
303. All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purposes
304. That God can be trusted, He alone is faithful
305. Seeing myself more clearly in His word
For all this and more, for Today, Lord. Thank You. From the bottom of my heart, Thank You.
Carmen Sunshine
P.S. I will endeavor to type out my story of how I came to know the Lord, my testimony. I started a new Bible study and day one is to recount my deliverance. So, I will be publishing my witness, the evidence of the Most High God in my life, soon.
Jer 30:2
"This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: Write down for the record everything I have said to you..."
Luk 22:31
"Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat.
Luk 22:32
But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."
Pro 3:5
Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.
Pro 3:6
Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.
2Ch 20:15
He said, "Listen...! This is what the LORD says: Do not be afraid! Don't be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God's."
My count of blessings sharpens and continues as I endeavor to find the kernel of wheat...
261. For trials that bring my impurities to surface
262. For repentance, true forgiveness and grace
263. For struggles I can't see past, making me desperately seek the Lord
264. For seeing my own path more clearly
265. For the Lord's way, that He makes my path straight
266. For deliverance from my way, my understanding
267. For authority and choice
268. For freedom and pleasure
269. For the desire to know Jesus more personally
270. A lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path
271. "It's a start"
272. For cold crisp blustery days
273. For babies in buntings and teddy bear hats
274. For woolen blankets crocheted and passed down, warming the next generation
275. For real, passionate, Christ-following, sister-friends
276. Understanding that the World can not understand, hence it will misjudge
277. Yellow rimmed front wheels
278. Golden flames on handed-down helmets
279. Rusty running pegs and chains
280. Little one's perseverance - his first bike ride
281. Nubby first tooth
282. Keeping the bathroom doors closed
283. Warm welcomes in the homes of family's family
284. Bright pink rose centered bows on locks of wind-blown golden girl
285. Brilliance in a boy, true understanding
286. My children's desire to worship the LORD!
287. More clothes, food, warmth, safety, protection and provision than I can count
288. A truly devoted and cheerful husband
289. Leather puppy dog shoes
290. Afternoon sunlight on oyster colored walls
291. Time to spend giving thanks, reflecting, counting
292. Purging
293. Sisters who know
294. The ability to make the choice to love in the strenth and grace of Christ Jesus
295. Time with my husband
296. New Bible Studies
297. Time weathered friendships, rooted and grounded in love
298. Tidiness
299. Smiling voice mails
300. Hope
301. Not my way, not your way, but God's alone - there is the safe and right road
302. His ways are higher than my ways, His thoughts higher than my thoughts
303. All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purposes
304. That God can be trusted, He alone is faithful
305. Seeing myself more clearly in His word
For all this and more, for Today, Lord. Thank You. From the bottom of my heart, Thank You.
Carmen Sunshine
P.S. I will endeavor to type out my story of how I came to know the Lord, my testimony. I started a new Bible study and day one is to recount my deliverance. So, I will be publishing my witness, the evidence of the Most High God in my life, soon.
Jer 30:2
"This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: Write down for the record everything I have said to you..."
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