Lord, Please.

Sometimes, it's the most honest prayer.

Even when it's all you can eek out.

He already knows what you need and why.

Just pray.  Your faith will follow.

Lord, please.

Matthew 6:7-8 And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

Sash of robe falls in toilet, first thing....

Lord, please.  (complaining)


Baby makes sandy cookie crumbs all over billowy futon before breakfast...

Lord, please. (help me)


Wasp flies into house, all around the house, when door opens to garage to fetch vacuum, baby crying, trailing crumbs, still no breakfast...


Lord, please. (I need you)


Children fight on couch, couch tears, markers mark, arguing, correction given in anger and unforgiveness...


Lord, please. (desperate; Change me, Lord)


Ah!  There's the sweet spot. 

That's what this is all about.  I am overcome.  I see my self as I am.

Honestly, when the wasp flew in, I prayed it out loud, over and over, and almost found it comical. 

When I typed "we are His hands and feet" and then corrected my son in anger, it was almost unforgivable.

And yet, here He is, with me.  Waiting for my sincerity.  Going deeper still, for my benefit and for His glory.

Just hold on and pray.  Your heart will follow.  He waits for you.

Lord, please.

He answers me.

Luke 11:9 "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

Sing, Hallelu!  Hallelujah!

Does this mean my robe is clean, the baby is fed, the floor is not a wreck, or my children don't fight?

No.  

But it does mean that He is here with me, knows what I need, and promises to deliver me, in the midst.  All this happens for a purpose, for my refinement.  He knows me.  Better still, He loves me.

Could it be that the Lord is as persistent as my sixteen month old, (or my six year old, or my four year old, or my three year old, for that matter) looking to do what ever it takes to get me to see Him...?  He is zealous for my attention.  He delights in my affection.  He loves me.  He will do what ever it takes.  Isn't that what He did on Calvary? 

None of this is haphazard or without purpose.  So why the trials, Lord?

 

God disciplines his sons:

Proverbs 3:11-12

 ¹¹ My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline
       and do not resent his rebuke,
 ¹² because the LORD disciplines those he loves,
       as a father the son he delights in.

Hebrews 12:11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

 

Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.  

 

What am I called to do?  What is my Hebrews chapter 11 'act of faith' that produces in me the Hebrews 12:1 perseverance? How can I ever be like Moses??  Have I ever even imagined that could be me?  That Jesus wants it to be me in the 'hall of faith'?

 

He does.

 

In the midst of life, trials, hardships, moments, wherever we find our selves, it is just for us to ask, to seek, to knock.  To believe:

 

Lord, Please. 

 

Why?  What is the ultimate outcome?

 

So that we can be more than conquerors:

Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

So, today I pray.  I hold Him to His Word.  I claim it.  I choose to see it all from His hand, and I look to Him for deliverance.  Respond in truth, even in desperation.  It all sounds good, doesn't it?   

Do it.  Overcome. 

John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

1 John 5:5 Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God.

Revelation 2:7 He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.

This is for us.  Today.

Read Hebrews 11

Then, feed that baby, vacuum your couch, wipe your floors, open your doors, and pray for the wasp to leave!

See yourself, in your life, like Abraham, Moses, Rahab, Gideon, David, Mary, Stephen.  You are no different.  This is your act of faith.

To God be the glory, in my messy house and my heartfelt prayers:

Lord, please.

It is enough, and I already have His answer.

Yes.

In His Love,
Carmen Sunshine

The Sum I've Been Given

What have you got? What have you not?
I've got some... or really, I've got a sum.
A sum that can not be measured, needful of the counting...

(#'s 306 - 315)
A warm orange pot
delivered
filled with noodles
peppered
warm healing broth
speckled
bread just baked
severed
filled my tummy on the day it
quaked.

How can I give enough thanks
for what I've been given?
Count my blessings
number them and they multiply.

Mar 4:25
For whoever has, to him more will be given;
but whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him."

Can I even percieve all that has been bestowed upon me?
Friends, gifts, children, a home, a happy husband, the love of Christ, sisters, books, windows, hot running water, electricity, people who care about me, the ability to bless others, a man who loves me, and cares for our children, more food in the fridge than we can eat, more toys than we can play with, fresh air, clean water, warm sunshine, cleansing rain...

When I count them, or rather, give an account, I am less likely to be wanting or feel lacking. Gratitude for what I've got multiplies my perception. Let me embrace it all so that I am not found wanting.

Thank you, Lord, for friends who bless. Thank you Father for your caress. In their hands I see your love. God you give far above.

For His glory and in my heart,

Carmen Sunshine

Congratulations Mommy

Your pizza is only as delicious as the amount of flour dusting your children's toes...

Jacob, in a cloud of flour and pizza making, looked up at me with a very satisfied grin and said, "Thank you, Mommy, for letting me make my own pizza! Congratulations, Mommy."

I laughed out loud and agreed. Yes, indeed. Jacob was the third pizza-dough-roller-and-patter in the kitchen last night. For a woman who knew not much of encouragement nor enjoying discovery amid messiness as a child or young woman, to have the depth of flour that was in my kitchen, congratulations were indeed in order. Two inches of flour covered the counter. Flour was heavily accumulated on the cabinet knobs, the step-stool, the floor, even on the ledges of the cabinets faces themselves. To say it was dusty would have beeen an understatement.

But truly, if any congratulations are in order, they are the Lord's alone. Father, I'll savor Your revelation and sweep up the rest.

Mat 21:44

And whosoever shall fall on this stone shall be broken: but on whomsoever it shall fall, it will grind him to powder.

Yesterday, all I could see was the powder of my life, the failure, the unusable, the debris, the mess. I gave it to the Lord, and He sifted through it all and handed me a whole, weighty piece. A worthwhile piece, a piece that was unrecognizable to me until I handed it all to Jesus and He revealed it. In the smile of my son, an area of my childhood was redeemed.

My life before Christ was about cleanliness, order, the appearance of wholeness and even since the renewal of my relationship with Christ, those are the goals that I have pursued. But amid the dust of my son's childish efforts, the Lord revealed to me that there is so much more. That's not what my life has to be about any more. I can have a new focus. What I seek, true completeness, only comes through restoration. None of us start out whole. Becoming who I want to be in Christ does not come without experience, discovery, childlike efforts, imperfection, delight and yes, a large amount of mess.

Lord, help me to no longer focus on the dust of my life but to embrace the mess, to experience the delight in learning from You and seeing what you will make of me, discovering the parts of me that You are preserving and restoring as whole. May I continually give you all of me. I yield myself to Your hands and I ask you reveal the shards of me amid the dust that will complete the whole. I am so glad that I am Yours. Sweep away what is not worth saving and reclaim the rest.

Thank you Lord for encouraging me and showing me even the littlest areas of growth in my life. I had reached the end of me, and You knew I was in sore need of You and Your affirmations. It seems impossible, but there is no more glorious place to be. You always give greater than I can imagine.

Truly Jacob's smile, complete satisfaction, and congratulations were a gift. I am humbled and blessed knowing that wouldn't have been a part of my life without surrendering to You, my Redeemer. Thank You, Lord.

Standing in the dust with a restored piece of my broken heart,
Carmen Sunshine