Counting My Treasures

I have joined the Gratitude Community: 1000 Endless Gifts over at Ann Voskamp's "Holy Experience" website: http://www.aholyexperience.com/2003/06/gratitude-community.html

My 1000 Endless Gifts:
Psa 126:3
The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.

After reading over on Ann's site that counting your blessings makes one more grateful and joyful, I endeavored to keep track of all that I have been given mentally. But, as my brain is like a sieve these days, I've decided that letting them go unwritten is pretty much like having a hole in my pocket. ;-)

Another friendly 'jog' today on Ann's website has encouraged me afresh. No longer will I allow my blessings, my evidences of the whisperings of a great and gracious God, to go unrecorded and uncounted. These are my treasures, my witness that the Lord has done great things for me, and in acknowledging Him and His gifts, I am filled with joy! Why would I want to let that go to waste?? I start collecting Him, and the evidences of my Treasure, Today. What are you doing with yours??

What do I want for Christmas? To know all that I really have.

I have a feeling this will be a meager beginning and I have not fully thought out how to continue this list, but I will delay no longer. My treasures are to be counted, sorted, adored and multiplied. The Giver is to be glorified with this life.

Lord, I give you THANKS and PRAISE as I sift through these few, 'just on the top of the pile and most evidently seen', and for as many more as I can list. Thank you for each of these precious "I love you's" that You have spoken into my life. May this account be as unending as your giving.
Lord, Thank You for:

1. Jason Ryan Hendrix
2. A husband who daily teaches me what LOVE really is
3. My salvation
4. The love of Christ and the body of believers with whom I now share His love
5. Sisters in Christ who are so much more than friends
6. The inspiration to Homeschool my children
7. The Lord 'closing doors', being saved from bad choices
8. New beginnings
9. Encouragement to press-on, from friends, online, and even from dreams
10. Dylan Ryan Hendrix who daily teaches me what LOVE really is
11. Joshua Duncan singing in his crib
12. Samantha's smiles
13. Jacob's persistence and constant smile
14. Pajamas
15. The world's most comfortable bed
16. A man who wakes up, every day, with a SMILE
17. Friends who teach you how to make your own soup and fresh bread
18. Sisters who love you
19. In-laws who love you
20. Imperfect parents (why else would we ever need God?)
21. Resilient children (how else would we ever survive?)
22. More than ample monetary provision and a heart to give
23. Kickball
24. Flashlight tag
25. Chimineas
26. Seeing Christmas through the eyes of motherhood
27. Flip-flops in December
28. Learning to learn from my mistakes
29. God's Word
30. 'The Shop'
31. Little voices
32. Little hands
33. Smiling eyes
34. My Very Hardworking Husband
35. The lessons of a small house
36. Laptop computers
37. My total and complete inability
38. Christmas/Advent Devotionals with authors spanning generations
39. A Father who wants to share Christmas
40. Candlelight Christmas Eve Services
41. Christmas lights
42. Babies
43. Really warm socks
44. Bible verses hidden in hearts through song
45. Forgiveness
46. Great Grace
47. Every day is a new start
48. Devoted Bible Students/Teachers
49. Free teachings online
50. Hot tea and raw honey
51. Everyday is Christmas when you know Jesus

52. Babies who stop nursing just to smile at you

53. Long desired tea cup won as a gift at a baby shower

54. Very sore throats that make you sit and see the Christmas lights on your tree

55. Motor boats, sail boats, uninhabited islands and coastal waters

56. Hardwood table and six chairs, hand-finished, all from my father

57. Handfinished diningroom chairs that remind me of my husband's love

58. Big Brown Eyes

59. Dogs on the beach

60. Affections shared with my husband

61. Christmas cards from Australia

62. Glitter on my chilren's faces

63. Nap time

64. "Hey, how are you?" phone calls

65. Christmastime dinner with Christian fellowship

66. Mistletoe

67. Copper fans

68. Blackberry Jam

69. Hot and Spicy Noodle Soup
70. Really beautiful dinnerware

71. 10th year engagement gifts and fully loaded fingers

72. Little Lisps

73. Little Lips

74. Eyebrows drawn on Mary, Joseph and Baby Jesus

75. 100% fully capable crawling 7 month olds

76. Little girl giggles

77. Nursing tanktops

78. Christmas card collages

79. Animated story telling of 4 year old little girls

80. Direction, Discernment and Provision

81. Direction, Discernment and Provision in Christmas gifts

82. Our first Christmas at home as a family

83. Piles of Laundry

84. Dylan loading and unloading the dishwasher

85. Children

86. Sam covetously cleaning the toilets and taking out the trash

87. One really amazing van and a completely paid for sedan

88. Rainbows over realestate

89. The fellowship of believers

90. The prayers of a righteous woman uttered on my behalf

91. Beachside Hospitality

92. Those who go-before

93. Baby blankets and shoes galore

94. Children who don't yet know to go hunting for their Christmas presents

95. Really healthy and really happy babies

96. A pediatrician I can consider calling for myself

97. Pop-up Christmas cards

98. Home-printed Christmas cards

99. Friends who still keep in touch

100. PJ's at 3:30 PM on Monday

Lovingly and wishing I had more time to go on and on...

Carmen Sunshine

What Have I to Give? Truly Forgiven

I left something out of my previous blog on Simon Peter going fishing, maybe even the most important and obvious. It is Christ's complete restoration of Peter. What enables us to go forth in the power of Christ, free to follow Him? Forgiveness.

Peter had blasphemously denied even knowing Jesus, three times in a row. Afterward, of course, Peter didn't know what to do with himself. Today and frequently, I have felt very much as Peter must have felt that day. "I have failed Him, how can I be of any use to Him? Now what?" The Lord has let me realize not only Peter's failure to some degrees, but also the marvelous reconciliation that Christ offered to Peter and continues to offer to every one of us.

Forgiveness, complete restoration through Christ Jesus, truly is the crux of the Gospel, the pivot point of Eternal Life, the hope of glory. Peter had to experience it personally before he was equipped to serve the Lord in caring for others. Mercifully, I too, have experienced it anew. You see, you can't give what you haven't got.

It wasn't any one thing, but an accumulation of many little things that led me to be in the boat, fishing, wondering, "Now what?" I don't spend the time I know I should in the Word of God. I put my fleshly desires above the call I know to be the call of the Holy Spirit. When I do spend even just a minute amount of time, He is faithful and gives me great revelation. But I am beginning to see that is because I need a very bright light to guide me. It takes a long time for me to really learn how to apply what the Lord reveals to me in my own life, longer than I'd like anyway. So, the "Now What?" really rang true for me because I often can see the spiritual 'why' long before the physical 'how'.

Being on the road for eleven days brought the culmination of a drifting that had begun over a year ago, perhaps even longer. Having just come back from a long holiday trip to see all of our family, it was hard to get back into the "swing" of things. Hard for me to again embrace this Christian Homeschooling, Stay at Home Mom, life and calling the Lord has for me. Hard for me to not think, "Maybe they are all right, maybe I am crazy. Maybe I am wasting my life and pursuing foolishness." But the Lord's wisdom is foolishness to the world. I am just now, five days after returning home, getting things straight again in my head and heart. What a cruel place the world can be.

While on vacation, like Peter, I flubbed it. Repeatedly. But as I returned to His Word, there was Jesus, on the beach, preparing a meal and a fire for Peter, for me. Often, the Lord does just that. He faithfully and faultlessly seeks me out and lovingly calls for me to come back to shore. To be warmed and refreshed and restored from my foolishness because I have not sought Him directly.

God gives great Grace. He LAVISHES His LOVE upon us. This is such an awesome truth that I often have a hard time receiving all of it. Can He really love me as He says He does? Does He really forgive me when He alone knows what a wretch I am? Can I really confess to Him all that He already knows and receive love and correction for my benefit and His great glory?

Yes.

The answer is Yes. No one is like God. The Lord Almighty. The Creator of Heaven and Earth. Our Salvation. Our Righteousness. Our Healer. Our Protector. Our very great Reward.

I have learned today, that the more I confess of my doubts and faults and fears, the more love, assurance, faithfulness, and forgiveness I receive from such a loving and all knowing Lord.

All I have to do is swim back to shore.

Jhn 21:10 Jesus said to them, "Bring some of the fish which you have just caught."

Jhn 21:11 Simon Peter went up and dragged the net to land, full of large fish, one hundred and fifty-three; and although there were so many, the net was not broken.

Jhn 21:12 Jesus said to them, "Come [and] eat breakfast." Yet none of the disciples dared ask Him, "Who are You?"--knowing that it was the Lord.

Jhn 21:13 Jesus then came and took the bread and gave it to them, and likewise the fish.

Jhn 21:14 This [is] now the third time Jesus showed Himself to His disciples after He was raised from the dead.

Jhn 21:15 So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon, [son] of Jonah, do you love Me more than these?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He said to him, "Feed My lambs."

Jhn 21:16 He said to him again a second time, "Simon, [son] of Jonah, do you love Me?" He said to Him, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You." He said to him, "Tend My sheep."

Jhn 21:17 He said to him the third time, "Simon, [son] of Jonah, do you love Me?" Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, "Do you love Me?" And he said to Him, "Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You." Jesus said to him, "Feed My sheep.

Jesus gave Peter a three-time affirmation to prepare him to continue in Christ's purpose for him.

Am I the mother I want to be? No.
Am I short tempered, quick tongued, full of impatience? Yes.
Do I represent the Lord at all times and in all places as I wish I would? No.
Do I even obey Him even when I know I should? No.
Am I perfect? No.
I too, am a 'son of Jonah', one who has run in the wrong direction.

But in His Grace, I am being perfected. He, in His love and redemption wants to use you, and me. That we may be presented to Him as a spotless bride for His Son, our Redeemer and Deliverer, who gave His life to be with us.

I'm learning that God already knows it all, like Peter says, "Lord, you know everything." I am learning to 'get over' myself, my inabilities and insecurities, my failings and faults. But there is no getting over Jesus. He is perfect. The spotless Lamb of God. I will dwell on Him. He who paid the ransom for me is worthy of my praise. But more importantly, He is worthy of my whole heart, recklessly abandoned in honesty and desperately in need of Him, the Lover of my Soul. He rights all things, even me.

We are beginning our Christmas celebration in our home. In studying the life of Christ, never before have I received so much of all that God has to offer in His Son. Never before have I just sat at His feet and desired Him more than anything else. When some bauble comes to mind, as it frequently does, I recall that it is His presence, His forgiveness, His approval and touch that I desire more than anything else that "Christmas" has to offer. His love is central to my well-being. Nothing more, nothing less. I simply have to receive Him.

After 34 Christmases, I have come to see that it is easy to give gifts. Not so with receiving. It is much more humbling to receive an extravagantly expensive and perfect gift, or even one you aren't so crazy about, for that matter. Not so with Christ. I am speaking of a gift so great that you could never earn, deserve, repay or even merit having it bestowed upon you. It is humbling beyond measure, especially when it is given with such love, compassion, and more importantly complete acceptance and great affection. This is the gift that God has for you, and for me.

I want to be more like Jesus.

Thankfully, He's already on the shore, calling to me, a fallen-away fisher-woman, and more than that, He is calling me His Child. I too, may just dive out of the boat.

Am I perfect? No. But I am ever so able and grateful to say that, you know what? He is.

I am just going to return to that fact over and over in this lifetime. Jesus Christ is perfect, always good and always true. He is the One True Living God and His grace is sufficient for me. May it be my anthem, my foundation, my bedrock. I just might wear it like an engagement ring, a promise of something more to come and a token of great love and affection. In Christ, I am truly forgiven. Now that is the perfect Christmas present. I've already got it all. And now I have it, to give.

Lord, thank You for such great grace and compassion. For pursuing me as a loving Father and Shepherd. You truly do care for me, more than I can even behold. Jesus, you are full of grace and truth. You provide for me, take care of me, desire to spend time with me and give such lavish gifts. Truly, I should keep an account, and be overwhelmed by your generosity.

Be glorified, Lord. Take my failings and may they speak of your Amazing Grace. I am here, like Peter, to know more of You and what You have for me, desperately desiring reconciliation with You and receiving it. Embracing being truly forgiven, I will follow. Lead me, Lord. May I feed Your lambs with Your provision and forgiveness.

Simply in response to the Love of Christ,

Carmen Sunshine

Col 1:27 To them God willed to make known what are the riches of the glory of this mystery among the Gentiles: which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.

Now What? The New You is with Me

It had all changed. He thought he understood, and now it was clear that he didn't.

Peter had been a fisherman until he dropped his nets to follow the Messiah. Now the Messiah had been killed and risen from the dead. Alive. And Peter had denied Him. What was this daily life supposed look like now? He left one life for another and even the second life now was altered. Realistically speaking, "Now what?"

He did only what he knew to do. He went to fish, and some of the others went with him.

They fished all night, in their strength and ability, waiting, catching nothing. Fruitless.

Then, someone on the beach asked if they had any food. Picture the disciples of Christ, in a fishing boat, knowing not what to do with themselves. They had gone back to their old stand-by, what they knew before Christ. But knowing Jesus changes everything.

The man on the beach told them to cast on the other side of their boat and they hauled in such a catch that it was amazing that the nets did not break. With this, Jesus was recognized, and Peter, in his eagerness to be near Christ, jumped out of the boat and swam to shore. He left the boat and the catch behind. Peter knew fishing wasn't it.

Jesus gave Peter reconciliation and a 'new job'. He asked Peter three times, "Do you love me?" Peter was grieved in the repeated questioning, but Jesus wanted him to really hear it. "Feed my sheep. Tend my lambs. Feed my sheep." Why? The 'why' came before the 'what'. "Because you (Peter) love Me (Jesus). And I know that you love Me." Jesus told Peter what to do with his life, and why. Gently. Gracefully. Thrice.

John, also hungry for more of Jesus, followed behind and he too, heard. Peter, with his new purpose, wanted to know what John was to do. Jesus said, "Don't worry about how another is called to follow me or what their specific purpose is or how they are to complete it. You know what I have called you to do. You follow Me."

You see, once we have walked with Christ, believing Him, we have left it all behind. The world, what we used to know and be, is no longer who we are. We have a new purpose, a New Life. Seeing Christ alive and among us, witnessing His miracles in the lives of others and in our own lives, having personal experience with Him, is life changing, mind altering, reality shifting. Jesus is the Son of God, the One True Living God. In Him we are made new. You can't go back. What your life was before Christ can't begin to compare. Jesus has bigger, more important, Kingdom growing work for us to do. He has people for us to love and care for and we can only do it in His love and grace. Without Jesus, what was useful and fruitful in our own strength, is no longer.

Only moving forward in Christ are we alive. Allow Him to redefine your reality, what you know and who you are. Thankfully, there's no turning back. We have new purpose, new life, new meaning, new family, new friends. We are no longer, as Christ is made in us. We must decrease and He must increase. Praise God. And thankfully, none of us are or will be exactly the same.

I don't want to be who I was before. Like Peter, I don't even really want to stay who I am today. I am thankfully plodding along, one foot in front of the other sometimes, but moving forward and growing none the less. How many of us can say that we have the Resurrection Power of Christ to become what we truly desire to be? I can. But only because of the transforming power of the God-Man and His redeeming work.

Jhn 21:4 But when the morning had now come, Jesus stood on the shore; yet the disciples did not know that it was Jesus.

Jhn 21:5 Then Jesus said to them, "Children, have you any food?" They answered Him, "No."

Jhn 21:6 And He said to them, "Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find [some]." So they cast, and now they were not able to draw it in because of the multitude of fish.

Jhn 21:7 Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, "It is the Lord!" Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he put on [his] outer garment (for he had removed it), and plunged into the sea.

Jhn 21:8 But the other disciples came in the little boat (for they were not far from land, but about two hundred cubits), dragging the net with fish.

Jhn 21:9 Then, as soon as they had come to land, they saw a fire of coals there, and fish laid on it, and bread.

Are you dripping, on the beach in the morning glow, looking at your risen Savior and hearing your new call? Or were you the one to recognize Him right away and stay to labor and bring in the catch?

Either way, shiver and warm yourself in the warmth of His presence and provision, and hear. He knows you love Him. He will make it happen and provide for you every need. It is for Him to lead and you only to follow. He has more for you and me.

Thank You, Jesus. I do love You. And I know that You know I do. Ask me again, Lord. Remind me 'why' and then tell me 'what'. And please give me grace to love you more.

For Him, In Him, and to Him, to Jesus be all glory and honor and power.

Love You, Lord.

Carmen Sunshine