Thursday, November 11, 2010

Nothing Better To Do

John 15:12-14
My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command.

Matthew 19:14
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”  

Motherhood really does require your life, all that you are and ever hope to be.

As I stood atop the hill in the shade of the breeze way and saw the glory of the sun shining on the grass in the blueness of fall in Florida, I felt my spirit lifted with the rush of air and whispered affirmation.

Yesterday I had struggled in the depths.  I had cried out to the Lord, my God, saying desperately over and over again, "I can not do this!"  And though I looked for solace in those I knew, it was to be found in the face and voice of a yet unknown friend, a sister in the Spirit and fellow daughter in the purpose of training our children in righteousness.  Hope she whispered, grace she gave, with hugs and smiles and empathy she strengthened me.  I watched as the breeze blew her stray hair and her long lanky boys ran and tussled with my smaller ones, gentle giants.  "Do not worry", she insisted, until I clung to His Words of hope and assurance, until she saw my spirit rise.  Promised to pray, we both did and walked away.  That was yesterday, the valley I had just come through, with the strength and compassionate guidance I had found, it could only be attributed to a God who had seen and heard my silent, desperate, and frenzied cries.

Yesterday, the lies of the enemy had come like relentless waves.  "You have so much more you are capable of, so much better than this, and you aren't even able to do what you are trying to do...".

But now, as I am found in the warmth of the Son, with the answered cries of yesterday still fresh, I reply in gladness and agreeing affirmation, "I have nothing better, than to love and be loved by my children in the season of my life."  There is nothing better for me to do.

Today, I stand upon this hill and watch, as my daughter all golden and free runs in the open air, in the joy of a firm foundation and a Mommy who still stands upon the Rock.

This is the work of the Spirit in me: to lay down my life for my children.

And the next time the enemy whispers worthlessness and futility, I will agree with my heavenly Father, and set the lies straight.  Yes, I have nothing better to do!

For the love of Christ, and the love of my children,

Carmen Sunshine