Friday, May 9, 2008

Humility, Ears to Hear and Eyes to See

I write these posts as a reminder for myself, mostly. His Word does not return void.

Lord, today You revealed to me, through opportunities of individual time with each of my children, how little time I actually spend with each of them, alone each day. You allowed me to see how little I truly listen to all that comes out of their mouths, and hearts. How preoccupied I am! I struggle for a clean house, for mannerly children, no hitting, no biting, no screaming. No fighting. I struggle to accomplish things I think are important, or rather, that I just want to do, like make the bed, vacuum the floor, wash the car. But these are things I am putting over the learning and developing of loving relationships with my children. I don't really know how that's done. It's not something that was taught to me as a child, or even a young adult. So, I have always just said, well I don't have that in me. But not any more. I can't say that anymore, can I? I have Jesus in me, and He knows how to love and obey, how to sit still and play and not worry about next week's menu or whether or not the laundry is folded. I don't spend time with my kids. It's true. I don't do things where I just sit and pay attention to them. At least, I haven't so far. However, even though I know it truly isn't in me. I can do it. I rebel and with hold myself at the thought. Paying attention has always been a price I never wanted to pay. But, now, I do. I do want to pay attention to my children. I do want to know what they like, what they look like and sound like and think like. I do want to build those bridges during play time - laughing and loving. I just haven't yet. Lord, I know You want this for me and for my sweet children. You can enable me to do just that. And what a joy it would be to do!! And yet, I shudder when the time comes. Father, change my faltering heart! I am crying out to God. Crying, mourning.

Help me Father, to have ears to hear Your still small voice and to listen to those little small voices that surround me each day. 1Ki 19:12 Remove from my heart and my mind any strongholds I have allowed the enemy to build within my thought life. Keep me still. Help me to be still and know that you are God and that the only thing you truly ask of me is to love my husband and the sweet children you have put in my care. Psa 46:10 May I be a good and faithful servant with what you have given me. And when it is so painfully obvious that I have fallen short and not grown in areas that You have shown to be immature, help me to turn and call on You. For in my weakness, You are strong and able to save. 2Cr 12:10

Lord, I repent of preoccupation and distraction. Cleanse me of all unrighteousness, for You are able and faithful. I want to honor You and grow. And I have so much more to grow.

Help me to do the things I have never done before, because You are calling me to do them. And these things are not burdensome, but blessed. Daily change me to Your image, plant me deep, so I can grow.

Growing. That little seed can't stay just like it always was if it wants to grow, can it? It has to outgrow it's little shell and burst forth with something that looks nothing like it's original form. Then, it reaches upward, upward through the dark, moist soil reaching for the sun, growing in its warmth. Its chemical makeup changes. It is a new creation. As am I. 2Cr 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! Praise God!

Lord, I lay aside all filthiness, (all my simple understanding and bad habits) and all that remains of wickedness (my pride) and humbly receive Your word implanted into my heart, which is able to save my soul. Jam 1:21 Enable me to obey you and give me courage to trust You more so that I am not just a forgetful hearer, fooling myself. Jam 1:22 Give me an undivided heart to do those things which I think I can not. To know Your grace covers me and that only in Your strength can I do anything, is truly rest. Hbr 4:3

I count it all joy when You allow me to see myself clearly in the mirror of Your Word. Jam 1:23 You are faithful and will continue this Work until I am made in the image of Christ. Thank God!! :-)

1Th 5:23-24
Now may the God of peace make you holy in every way, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless until that day when our Lord Jesus Christ comes again. God, who calls you, is faithful; he will do this.

Thank You, Lord. Forgive me Father. Grow me.

In truth,